I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
