u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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