I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
