did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
