We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
