Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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