just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
