when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
