Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
