I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
