I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
