I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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