Are we in a gay sports bar?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What a dumb baby whore.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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