i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
