I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize