David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You're like the curious george of whores
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
