she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
