If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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