Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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