i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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