Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize