My liver just broke up with me...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Still dying that you shit outside
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
