Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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