After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
