I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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