Your tits are I can't wait for
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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