Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize