Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
