Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
