We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
MIDGETS
????
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
