You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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