He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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