You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
