Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
