i barfeds in our rink
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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