she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
