We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
