I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
