The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
As shirtless as possible
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He did a backflip because drugs
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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