What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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