Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
