i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
