You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
