ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
