have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
