I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
