The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
