i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
