she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
bring money and cleavage
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
