i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
