I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize