hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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