trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
