Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize