Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
