i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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